Are you a girl or sumthin’?!

Posted: November 21, 2010 in butterflies, dogs, Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,
Are you a girl or sumthin’?  Seen the movie Due Date?  It was so funny that 2 out of 3 friends laughed while the last one who doesn’t enjoy campy humour chuckled.


Meanwhile, I celebrated my birthday with the Furry Prince in a doggie cafe where he and a horde of poodles (no seriously, what is the craze with these hypoallergenic, cute and violent curly fellas) took turns to terrorise each other’s owners.  It all started with the regular doggie handshake of a very invasive sniff in the poodle’s nether regions.

It all starts with a whiff

 The puppies were so boisterous that my friend took her 12 year old anti-social Schauzer suffering from a human complex on her lap where she watched the Furry Prince with the air of a neat freak who has an allergy to dogs.

Poodles have no sense of humour. No sooner than a few seconds after the Furry Prince had stuck his entire head in the poodle’s crotch did the poodle rear up his hypoallergenic, cute and violently fanged head and the two began to tango across the floor of the cafe.  Violently Cute poodle growled and snapped while the Prince wagged his tail and seemed to take it all happily in his stride like a boyfriend trying to placate a girlfriend whom he’d just dumped in cold blood.  All this while I was trying to eat my birthday lunch and couldn’t concentrate for fear that the Prince would be made a victim of a crime of poodle passion.

They danced left and right while the Violently fanged Cuteness continued to growl and attempt to bite the Prince while the poodle-loving owner sat nonchalently in her chair.  “Oh just let the puppies be” she said.  I glared at the owner but before we could start bitch slappin’ each other, the Prince expertly dodged every lunge of the curly head and then proceeded to expertly hump the poodle’s wingman (a Maltese) right on the head at which the nonchalent owner finally exclaimed: “No no no!!”.  Just let them be.  The Furry Prince sure could hold his own against curly headed sharks in cute packages.

Where did the Prince get all his swash-buckling anti-poodle moves from?  From his multiple experiences with curly headed sharks in obedience class and as well as the nasty experience of getting peed on the head by a larger poodle earlier in the morning!!

The prince goes back to Mommy and rethinks his poodle strategy

Now I must say that I’m not biased against poodles.  Poodles are intelligent, cute, curly, hypoallergenic and secretly trying to take over the world!  Poodles must be stopped.  Poodles who lift their legs and pee on other dogs are exceptionally in need of other dogs to put them in their place.  That’s not what I said.  That’s what the adorable Pekingese did to the poodle who peed on the Prince’s head.  Look how satisfied and vindicated he looks here after nipping the poodle in the butt.

The Prince: "The enemy of my enemy is my friend!"

  That having been said, the Furry Prince does have a humping problem.  In 2 to 3 hours in the cafe, he had humped/attempted to hump the following:

1) My hand (not successful, sent away with scolding)

2) Poodle’s wingman on the head (successful)

3) Poodle (successful)

4) Other smaller poodle (successful)

5) Other other larger poodle (half successful; got peed on head)

6) Furniture in cafe (multiple successes)

7) My friends’ arms (not successful, sent away with looks of disgust)

8) The waitress (not successful, waitress moving too fast away from him)

9) Possibly all of the big dogs at a boarding hotel for dogs (shown interest only; fence in the way)

  1. Lauri says:

    This is all kinds of wonderful!! I’ll be laughing all the way to work!

    You go, little French Humpy Prince! You will rule them all!

    Actually most Poodles would be better behaved if their owners made them behave. There is too much laxness in doggie parenting these days! 🙂

    • Thanks Lauri! I had a ball looking through the photos! Yeah the problem with poodles is that they look so cutesy when they are young (they resemble tiny brown soft toys) that it’s almost painful to discipline them. Then again, some poodles have really gone too far! LOL!

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